Most Polska 2011

The Most Polska Award
This award was created by my husband's family to honor the most ridiculous Christmas decoration around the Buffalo area. According to my father in law, you must be partly Polish in order to vote on candidates, and my mother in law has a 51% voting because she is 100% Polish.
To give you an idea of winners of year's past:
1. The outdoor plastic nativity set: What makes this a Most Polska winner? Because the owners displayed the outdoor plastic nativity set indoors, in the front, bay window.
2. The two geese dressed up as santa and mrs. claus
3. My father won one year, recently. He took our pumpkins, set them on top of one another, speared them so they stood up on their own, and then spray-painted them and painted on a face. Our halloween pumpkins magically turned into a winter snowman. 
4. The Christmas tree decorated in beer cans


You get the idea?


Well, three weeks ago, I submitted an essay to my in laws wherein I nominated my husband for his decorating efforts. You will see the essay below. Alas, this evening, I retracted the nomination for my husband and renominated my father. Story is also below. Enjoy the epic absurdity of it all!


Mom and Dad Reisweber,

Please carefully study the attached photograph of our Christmas Tree.

Nick and I decorated for Christmas right after Thanksgiving dinner. The tree, like you know, is pre-lit so we only had to put on our ornaments. My ornaments aren't here yet so we have Nick's ornaments and the ornament's from Papa's basement. 

After putting the tree together, Nick and I snuggled up on our couch to admire our first Christmas tree together. Nick immediately noted that something seemed to be missing. 

We considered ribbon, like your tree, and beading, like my parents' tree. We talked about bows or tinsel, but the night thickened and we grew tired, and alas, we made no definitive decision regarding the completion of our Christmas tree. After all, it is our first year, and so we can accumulate a fuller tree over time.

Sometime in the next few days, our daily routine and activities were such that I hadn't sat down to admire our tree, and Nick certainly couldn't have had the extra time to admire it either.

Or so I thought.

But a few days ago, I snuggled on the couch to watch a Christmas movie, and in doing so I took a moment to breath in our holiday decor. And this is what  I found:

Our tree has quite a unique topper. 

Top 5 Reasons Why I think our tree topper justifies the Most Polska Award

1. It isn't an angel or a star
2. While it is green and while (arguably two very 'christmasy' colors), it is also a hat that humans are supposed to wear on their heads. And nothing other than the colors (which, in my opinion are secondary to red during the holidays) suggests that this hat is christmasy at all.
3. Nick doesn't even watch Notre Dame football
4. Nobody is our family is Irish and the closest thing to Irish culture is our super sugary version of Bailey's Irish Cream (we've even butchered the recipe, also very Polish of us)
5. Nick has proudly pointed out our tree topper to guests

I sincerely hope that the award committee accepts my nomination of their first born son to receive Most Polska 2011. He has worked very hard to earn it this year.

Thank you for your time.

Now, the nomination of my father:

And just when I think I've married into most polska, my father gets creative again. 

Ah.. So as told by Mr. Luka, just Saturday evening, my 28 lansing ave family was putting up the Christmas tree. It's a pretty-unmotivated process this year. My dad's been busy with finals, my mother doesn't care about a tree because she's coming to Hawaii and Luka is never home. Whereas the Starmers typically set their tree up the first weekend of December, this year, they've slacked a little.

Regardless, the tree-decorating was in (slow) progress on Saturday between Army v Navy, grading papers, creating finals and the like. It was later in the evening when the crew finally began to string the christmas lights onto the tree. Half way through, my mom realized that the rest of the light sets didn't work. To an unmotivated bunch, this glitch could have ended the tree decorating. But my father, Ron, agreed to make the sacrifice to venture to The Wal*Mart and buy some more lights. Luka even chimed in and offered to pick up a pizza for nourishment, and alas, the Starmers were back on track.

(bare with me... we're almost to the winning Polska moment)

My dear father returned from The Wal*Mart and luke from Pontillos.  Dad maintained his endurance and proceeded to continue stringing lights on the tree while Luka, Mom and John Sinsabaugh (a fellow decorator and Starmer kin) munched on some pizza pie. 

Suddenly, Luka, John and Mom paused, momentarily, in their merriment to commend Dad on his decorating drive when, to their horror, they realized my father, who was practically finished stringing the lights, had purchased indoor lights with WHITE wires. ARGH! Connie blew up in fumes and Luka just shook his head. Ron's response? : "What!? It's like snow on the tree."

Ah, dear Reisweber family, I must retract my nomination of my dear husband and in his place, renominate my father, Ron Starmer, who again, may be a strong contender for Most Polska 2011. Can you have a two-time winner?

Oh dear god.